my sometimes-skeptical social commentary

Archive for the ‘me’ Category

I’ve been listening to a lot more music than usual… lately, and some of it is New To Me, so I thought I would share it with you.

Music is something else, isn’t it? There are some songs I haven’t heard in years that can remind me of what was happening in the world or in my life when I first heard the song. There are some bands that I listened to so much that they kind of define a soundtrack to that part of my life. Sometimes I look back at what I was experiencing…and the songs are vivid in those memories. There are emotions that come up with some songs, and I look back at them now and I don’t have exactly the same feelings about the music, but I remember the old feelings. Sometimes they make sense, sometimes I look back and I wonder how I felt that way back when….

I have told my family and friends, but I just want everyone to know that Valerie and I are getting married!

I was one of the first grown-ups I know to start using FaceBook. I encouraged a lot of people to sign up, because I wanted to use it to (a) keep in touch with them, (b) play them in Scrabble, and (c) it’s just plain entertaining. Lots of my friends use their status update to say something very funny.

I’ve become re-acquainted with long-lost friends from grammar school and summer camps …where I haven’t been in a couple decades. I’ve played Scrabble against my mom, against geographically distant friends, and even against my girlfriend Valerie, because, even though we have been dating seriously for months, there are plenty of evenings when our schedules don’t allow us to play in person. So facebook has its value, right?

And yet, I have withdrawn from facebook again. I’ve withdrawn from facebook several times in the past, mainly because I find that it frustrates me more than it entertains me.

I have two close friends who still don’t use it, despite my many urgings that they just give in and “get on the facebook” like everyone else. I wonder if the frustration:entertainment ratio is something that my two hold-out friends have taken into consideration as they avoid joining the throngs of their friends and family who are on facebook.

There’s a good chance that anyone reading this post is a facebook user (there are more facebook users than there are Americans). So, you might be wondering, What are these frustrations?

To start with:

1. No filters.
2. No context.
3. False sense of community.

These problems are not exclusive to facebook, because there are other web sites that have the same problems. But facebook is so ubiquitous that these problems are exacerbated, in my opinion.

So let me explain:

1. Let’s start with No filters.

   No, I don’t mean that facebook should be censored. I mean that people don’t use their own built-in filters, and write a lot of junk that is just too much information (TMI). I suppose TMI is a terribly subjective qualification, isn’t it. Well, I think we all know TMI when we see it. The problem with facebook is that, once I am someone’s friend, I get their status updates, TMI and all (unless and until I hide their updates from my update stream, but then it’s too late, you can’t un-ring that bell).

2. No context is a problem, because what someone says in a Wall post or comment or status update can mean something completely different than what is intended.

   The nature of the internet is pictures, video, and short sentences. Non sentences. Smilies and non-word TXTs. Most people reading for entertainment won’t get this far into an article online. (But not you, because you just read this!) But, real life is complex, and what we say requires context in order for its real value to be implicit. What we “say” in facebook posts is not like “saying” at all, because 80% of the meaning we convey in conversation is communicated through body language and facial expressions.

3. The no context problem is related to the problem of facebook’s False sense of community.

   We don’t really know each other through our status updates and wall posts. How could we, when they say 80% of communication is through body language? Of course we know the facebook friends who are our real-life friends, but that’s what fraction of our social network?

   Another problem is caused by how easy it is to post something or post a comment on someone else’s post. No, I’m not arguing that we should go back to writing letters on paper and mailing them in envelopes (anyone have any stamps?), but there is an intentionality in letter-writing that is skipped–deleted–in the process that facebook and other Web 2.0 web sites employ to make it easier to use their sites. Is easier better? Is the movie better than the classic novel?

For example, to use a recent issue that’s still in the news, two different views on health insurance reform are going to come head-to-head in the short bursts of status updates and Wall posts. The perspective of an uninsured family who has a sick parent is not the perspective of the small business owner who has to decide on whether to expand the business or provide health insurance for existing employees. Because there’s no context, the false sense of community betrays us when our different points of view turn into flame-wars (personal attacks) or regress into ideological parroting.

So, what am I expecting from a technology? Nothing. It’s a tool, just like any other tool we have at our disposal. Remember when they said email would kill off letter-writing? When wikipedia was considered a threat to truth? When there was fear that Google would kill off research? Well, the TV has already killed off a great hunk of community and electronic media is working over public discourse…what’s left?

I’m suggesting that we should be more intentional in the way that we use web sites like facebook. I don’t know the full answer, and that’s why I’m taking a break from facebook, but I’m sure that I know people who have an idea–people who are already engaged in real community–and might have some helpful suggestions that they could post here as comments.

Will I go back on facebook? Sure, it’s just a question of when. Before I start logging in again, I want to have a better sense of why I’m there, a plan. I need to have more in mind than just “play Scrabble and find old friends” in order for there to be more value than frustration.

Instead of making resolutions, I’m writing down plans…well, not plans exactly, but stuff that I want to do.

I think most of these ideas are feasible. What do you think?

1. Finish the house we started in 2009. I’d like to incorporate green technology, but we’ll see.
2. Get back to running my favorite seasonal business, The Buffalo Bike Taxi Co.
3. Go to more pro baseball games than we did in 2009. I’d like to see my first major league game. In Toronto. I know what you’re saying…someone my age has never seen the MLB in person? Nope.
4. This one is related to #2 above. I will lose a little weight and continue to improve my cardiovascular health. Riding The Buffalo Bike Taxi Co, it would be nearly impossible to gain weight.
5. Do more writing, even if it just more-frequent posts on this blog. I do want to get back to real writing, though.
6. I’d like to learn to speak another language. I studied French in high school and college, so I remember some of that, but “Quiero aprender a hablar español de este año.” (Without having to use Google Translate.)
7. I have a bunch of audio cassettes that I want to convert into digital files, so that I can actually listen to that music. (Younger readers may want to ask their parents if they have any audio cassettes in the basement that they could look at.)
8. I say this every year, but this year is different (partly because of the divorce). I want to spend more time with old friends. I have not ever visited my friends Jesse, Rich, Craig, or Greg at their houses.
9. I’d like to buy an electric car. A Tesla Roadster would be nice, but I would “settle” for a a hybrid Fusion.
10. We live near a lot of water, so I’d like to make sure we get the canoe wet a lot this summer. The Buffalo River is a lot more scenic than you’d expect.
11. Another thing I’ve wanted to do for years, but somehow haven’t found the time to do, is ride my bicycle across New York State. The Erie Canal is a great way to go.
12. I want to take the boys camping, somewhere that they’ll never forget. I think the Adirondacks would be great.
13. We’ve been attending church more regularly, but this year, I would like to make it such a standard part of our life that the boys don’t resist going, when they are at my house on a Sunday. But here’s a problem I haven’t figured out how to resolve: I like three different churches, but I can’t go to all three on the same Sunday morning. Ultimately, I think it will be better if I am more actively involved with one of those three churches, doing things besides just attending morning church services.
14. Many of these things can be done, and some should be done, with family. Baseball, bicycling, and church, for example. This year, I would like to have time to visit my family members at their houses, but also to make the house we’re working on large enough for everyone to gather here for Thanksgiving or Christmas.

What about you? Will you be doing any of these activities?

I am glad I’m not a “normal weight” person, because, apparently, being a little overweight means I’m going to live a little longer.

A few extra pounds can add years to your life: study
NEW YORK (Reuters) – Carrying a little extra weight may actually be good for you, according to a Canadian study that showed a few pounds appear to protect people from an early death.

Researchers found that while underweight and extremely obese people die earlier than people of a normal weight, people who are slightly overweight actually live longer than those of a normal weight.